Whether you believe you can or you can’t, you’re right.
Is my job safe in this Covid-19 pandemic crisis?
Will I still have a job until my retirement?
Will I have enough savings when I retire?
Are these the right questions to ask in these difficult times?
The novel coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic has caused the most severe disruption of the global economy since World War II. With many jobs, businesses and livelihoods affected, it's not surprising that many are anxious about their future. As experts have warned that life will not revert to normal like before, the above questions naturally become more pertinent.
However, the above questions only scratch the surface. We need to peel off the layers and dig deeper to get to the bottom of those questions. It is akin to the moment in Alice in Wonderland when Alice was asked by the Caterpillar a seemingly simple but fundamental question:
“When the Caterpillar asks Alice, 'Who are you,' and Alice can barely stammer out a reply, `I—hardly know,'
Alice seemed unsure when she was asked the usually straightforward question, ostensibly because she was in a very strange environment and state. One interpretation of her response is due to her realisation that her identity does not only exists externally but also internally, partly hidden at the unconscious level. She was being made to question her identity as more than just the physical form as she had changed in size when compared to others around her.
To explore further into this interpretation, let's use the iceberg model, a metaphorical phenomenon when only a small amount of information can be seen. What can be seen of a person is his behaviour which is visible to others, like the top 20% of an iceberg, while on the other hand what drives his behaviour and makes up his identity are usually hidden below the surface.
The two factors influencing behaviour are the attitudes (thoughts, convictions) that underpin the behaviour, and the ability (skills, knowledge) to express the expected behaviour. The diagram above shows the cyclical cause-effect relationship between beliefs, values, attitudes and behaviours. Values are stable, long-lasting beliefs about what is important while beliefs are assumptions and convictions we hold based on past experiences. Our attitudes arise from an inner framework of values and beliefs.
Consequently, when we change our beliefs, the sense of who we are (i.e. our identity) changes. It will then have an effect on our values and attitudes which will then result in a change in our behaviour. Our beliefs are therefore the catalysts for self-perpetuating cycles of our behaviour. What we believe or think in our minds will directly influence how we feel and behave. For instance, if you think you’re a failure, you’ll feel like a failure and you’ll act like a failure, which then reinforces your belief that you must be a failure.
Most of our behaviours are driven toward achieving what is in our values and guided by our beliefs even though we seldom are aware or deliberate about it. Therefore, knowing our values and beliefs makes it easier for us to achieve what we want as it will prevent us from aiming toward goals that are not aligned with our purpose. However, since values and beliefs are usually outside our conscious awareness, it can be hard to know what they are unless we ask the right questions that elicit that awareness.
Before going into the right questions to evoke an awareness of our beliefs, let's first look at some problems with beliefs that can be a double-edged sword and how to overcome them.
How can our beliefs be the barriers to success?
Here are two types of psychological states affecting our beliefs that can cause irrational and non-productive behaviours.
The tendency to evaluate, favour and recall new information through the prism of preexisting beliefs is known as confirmation bias or assimilation bias. Beliefs that are tied to long-held identities may not only resist change but also bias the processing of new information. People often persist in long-held beliefs despite evidence that invalidates them.
For example, confirmation bias happens in an election season when people tend to seek positive information that paints their favoured candidates in a good light. They will also look for information that casts the opposing candidates in a negative light. By not seeking out objective facts and interpreting and remembering information that only supports their existing beliefs, they often miss important information that might have otherwise objectively influenced their decision on which candidates to support.
Similarly, imagine a right-handed person who believes that left-handed people are more creative than right-handed people based on seeing some creative left-handed people. When presented with an opportunity to participate in a creative process, the person thinks that he is incapable of performing well due to the belief that places greater importance on the "evidence" and discounts examples that don't support the belief. But when he does well or succeeds at it, he attributes it to being lucky.
How to avoid confirmation bias?
While beliefs can drive us to do things beyond our limits, limiting beliefs are those which constrain us in some way. When we have a goal but not making progress and avoid doing the next right step - it's often a limiting belief at work. However, asking a person to get rid of their limiting beliefs could be likened to asking a fish to remove dirt on its body with water - it's so much a part of them that they don't see it.
As illustrated in the circular diagram above, a limiting belief may have origins from painful experiences leading to generalisations that then cause skewed thinking and choices made based on fear of the pain. For example, a child who constantly gets bad marks in Math believes he's bad in the subject. Due to the fear of getting bad marks, he often delays or does not do his homework, resulting in missing deadlines and poor academic performance, continuing the vicious cycle.
How to overcome limiting beliefs?
1. Create a positive outlook
Optimistic thoughts can lead to productive behaviour that increases the chances of success. Scientific studies have shown that holding an optimistic worldview not only helps one to be creative and innovative but also has real benefits for health and productivity.
2. Challenge your belief
Thinking negatively about yourself doesn’t make it true and you don’t have to allow those beliefs to restrict your potential. Psychologists have found strong evidence for the impact of our beliefs and expectations on outcomes, particularly when we are convinced that our predictions will manifest. This is called a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Take note of the times when your beliefs do not hold true. By acknowledging the exceptions, you are reminded that your beliefs aren’t always true.
4. Perform behavioural experiments.
If you think you’re not good enough, do something that helps you to feel worthy. For example, if you have a fear of making marketing cold calls at the thought that the responder may scold you, make just one call at a time to see if your belief is true. You may realise that most people will be nice although there may be a few who may react negatively you just have to believe that they have nothing personal against you.
With practice, your brain will start to wire differently as the limiting beliefs are taken over by self-belief.
(Note: Self-belief and related concepts like self-esteem, self-confidence and self-efficacy are dealt with at length under a branch of psychology known as positive psychology, which analyses states of happiness, flow, values, strengths, virtues, and talents, as well as the ways in which they can be promoted by social systems and institutions).
How to ask questions to elicit self-belief and transformation?
One way is to engage in powerful questioning that is able to shift the way we perceive and serve as a catalyst for change.
The simplest way is to ask open-ended or non-solution-oriented questions. They begin with, who, what, where, when, why, or how (also known as "5W-1H questions") which cannot be answered with a simple yes or no. They also bring out feelings and opinions, adding depth to the information that you receive.
1. ‘WHY’ questions:
- To understand existing problems, think analytically and critically about why the problems exist.
- To discover the root cause of a problem by repeatedly asking the question “Why” five times.
- To describe the motivation, objective, justification or reason behind a method of working.
- To act on ideas.
- To reflect on future strategy, tactics, or active behaviour.
- Questions that start ‘How might we…?’ have the potential outcome of transforming possibility into reality.
- To challenge assumptions.
- To be imaginative or creative, and not influenced by existing knowledge.
- To explore new ideas for possible improvements and to tackle the challenge in other ways.
Try asking open-ended questions instead on the Work, Income and Retirement issues raised at the beginning of this article using the CAAR Framework. Go through the questions carefully and thoughtfully to experience the shifts in thoughts and emotions.
The ikigai concept (as mentioned in an earlier posting) is an insightful tool for assessing career and life directions and options just by asking four simple open-ended questions. This is because when such profound questions are being processed by the brain, it automatically shuts the mind from other things and takes over the brain's thought process. The more difficult or profound the question, the more the mind is forced to focus on looking for the answer. Nobel Prize-winning economist Herbert Simon wrote in his book Administrative Behaviour that human beings consciously “operate largely in a serial fashion. The more demanding the task, the more we are single-minded.”.
For the same reason, asking open-ended questions on a difficult subject like Success opens up the mind to a myriad of options and possibilities.
So, what have you learned about yourself after reading this article?
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